Our pop was a special and unique type of guy…

Growing up with both parents in the home seemed natural– as most kids that I was familiar with did have two parent homes. As our society and family structure have changed, I know in retrospect how important these two pillars of family structure were.

My dad had no formal book learning and was illiterate and unable to write his name but by the sign X. He however did manage to work as a day laborer and farm hand to support his growing family. Unlike our mother, Pop was not one for pushing to get material gains and was quite satisfied with the status quo– or at least that was the contrast between him and his “got to get it improved” spouse. This often caused arguments as to what ought to be the energy invested in the pursuit of trying to better one’s self and by extension-one’s clan.

Dad never learned to drive an automobile and had no problem walking. He made it a practice to walk on a regular basis to and from work. In all seasons. As well as to the local side store where he would often return with treats that, as a kid, made waiting for his return seem like an eternity. Dad lived to be 97 years old, was never obese and was active in mobility without a cane until a few years before his death.

As a child growing up, I resolved that I would never be like my dad because I felt the similar drive and ambitions displayed in our mom’s life style and her active engagement. But after I became a man and returned to Alabama with my family, I did have the good fortune to witness my dad’s behavior as he aged into his life cycle. I, without planning, began to appreciate a type of strength and wisdom that allowed him to embrace his physical decline with such resolve that it made me take conscious notice of his inner peace. He would often comment that “I am getting old son” when it was noted that his physical state was declining. The passage of time seemed to carve into his facial demeanor a type of serenity and calm, even as his mental and physical stamina slowly declined until he required custodial and physical help on a daily basis. But even then he never complained about his state of affairs.

I now reflect on the life and times of this soldier who took his journey into that “foreign and unknown country” seemingly with the resolve and understanding that such a path awaits all travelers on this mortal side as an inevitable and absolute voyage awaiting us all. I am therefore challenged to try by all measure to be like my pop in this endeavor for it calls into recognition one who fights the good fight, and one who with resolve prepares for the challenge to embrace the last stage of life’s cycle.

Kahlil Gibran in his work, The Prophet, speaks with clarity on this issue of death:

For what is it to die but to stand naked

In the wind and to melt into the sun?

And what is it to cease breathing, but to

Free the breath from its restless tides, that

It may rise and expand and seek God unencumbered?

Post by Vernon L. Scott M.D.